When a person knows they are doing something wrong or illegal, they have a tendency to hide it from everyone. They do have a window where they realize their behavior is wrong, but they often feel compelled to do it anyway. For those with an addiction, hiding it from even their spouse is important. They know the outcome will not be good when the discovery occurs, and they do their best to stave it off indefinitely.
Realizing a spouse is acting in an inappropriate manner might at first seem disappointing, but that feeling can eventually turn into disgust. Addition is often characterized today as a disease, but those living with it can see it as nothing more than a lack of discipline. The spouse of a person with this type of issue can go through many different phases, but maintaining an open mind to help their spouse only lasts for so long.
Help from a spouse is one of the best weapons to combat this disease, but even that can fall far short of what is needed to reach recovery. The sudden discovery that a spouse has an addiction issue can be upsetting, and it may lead the two into a series of unhelpful arguments. Until the spouse realizes their partner is not able to stop on their own, it can be a time when leaving might be an option they are willing to consider. It will hurt them and their spouse to do this, but it might be the only opportunity they have to do it without remorse.
Those living with an addiction at least have the thrill of indulging it, but their spouses gain nothing more than heartache unless they do something to curb it. If they are not willing to find a path to recovery, leaving should be the first option of their partner instead of the last.